Topic:

"Some people believe that living in a large city offers more advantages than living in a small town, while others think that small towns are more beneficial. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in both types of places. Which do you prefer?"

Essay:

The place of living has a huge effect on people's lives. while While [This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.] some people think that living in big cities is more beneficial for them because of its good job-hunting opportunities and various facilities facilities' [Possible Typo; An apostrophe may be missing.] availability, others believe that small town advantages like less noise pollution and huge landscapes are more favorable to their taste. Personally, I prefer large cities due to their well-developed infrastructure and facilities.

One of the advantages of staying in small towns is the beautiful green scenery that many people, nowadays, crave. many Many [This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.] studies have shown the importance of connecting with nature, so many elderly citizens moved to towns to get away from the stressful life. On the other hand, cities with huge buildings, apartments, and organizations are popular among young adults. it It [This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.] provides many options to apply for employment, as well as, a place to live near their job.

The other advantage that people who prefer living sees in towns is the lesser noise pollution; it is better to stay away from the sound of heavy traffic and factories machines and equipment; however, citizens appreciate those noises that ensure that the progression and development are carried out by their authorities and , and [Punctuation Error; Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).; Checkout This Link] it is one of the need of this modern live life [Possible Typo; Please check whether ‘life’ (noun) might be the correct word here instead of ‘live’ (verb, adjective, or adverb).] that depend on being developed on this aspect.

In my opinion, living in large cities has more advantages than the small towns or villages. Cities always have great facilities and entertainment options like parks, cinemas, and amusement parks. This can be seen especially in the developing world where more attention is directed to the capital and major cities. For example, in Sudan, large cities have many facilities while the small towns suffer from a shortage of the necessary facilities.

In conclusion, small towns have fans who like their quiet, peaceful, and full natural environment. While the others who think about having better work and enjoying prefer metropolitans and large cities.

5.5
Overall Band Score
5.5 - Coherence and Cohesion
5.5 - Lexical Resource
5.5 - Task Response
5.5 - Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Coherence Cohersion Feedback - 5.5
Using IELTS grading criteria.

- ✔️Proper Paragraphing
- ✔️Paragraph Count
- 🟡 Variety of cohesive devices used
The essay uses some cohesive devices like 'on the other hand' and 'however', but there is a lack of variety. For instance, 'on the other hand' is used in Paragraph 2, and 'however' in Paragraph 3, which could be replaced with alternatives like 'in contrast' or 'conversely' to enhance the flow. Additionally, the use of 'it' in Paragraph 2 is vague and could be clarified to improve coherence.
- 🟡 Referencing and substitution used
There are instances of unclear referencing, particularly in Paragraph 3 where 'it' and 'those noises' are used without clear antecedents. This can confuse readers. For example, specifying what 'it' refers to would improve clarity. Instead of saying 'it is better to stay away from the sound', you could say 'living in small towns is better due to reduced noise pollution'.
- 🟡 Ideas logically sequenced
The ideas in Paragraph 2 are not logically sequenced. The transition from discussing the advantages of small towns to the benefits of cities feels abrupt. A smoother transition could be made by linking the two ideas more clearly, such as stating how both environments cater to different needs before contrasting them.
- 🟡 All paragraphs have central topic
Paragraph 2 lacks a clear central topic. It starts with the advantages of small towns but then shifts focus to cities without a clear topic sentence. A better approach would be to have a topic sentence that clearly states the focus of the paragraph, such as 'While small towns offer natural beauty, cities provide essential job opportunities.'
- 🟡 Essay has clear flow
The flow between paragraphs is not always clear. For instance, the transition from Paragraph 3 to Paragraph 4 could be improved by adding a sentence that links the discussion of noise pollution in small towns to the advantages of living in cities. This would help maintain a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource Feedback - 5.5
Using IELTS grading criteria.

- 🟡 Collocation (which verb match which noun) used correctly
There are some collocation issues, such as 'good job-hunting opportunities' which could be better expressed as 'excellent job opportunities'. Additionally, 'facilities availability' is awkward; it would be clearer to say 'availability of facilities'.
- 🟡 Complex phrasing used correctly
The phrase 'the other advantage that people who prefer living sees in towns' is grammatically incorrect. It should be 'the other advantage that people who prefer living in towns see'. This affects the clarity of the writing.
- 🟡 Variety of words used to prevent repetition
There is some repetition of words like 'facilities' and 'advantages'. Instead of repeating 'facilities', you could use synonyms like 'amenities' or 'services'.
- 🟡 The vocabulary used is precise and expressive and fit the topic
The term 'lesser noise pollution' is not commonly used; it would be more precise to say 'lower noise pollution'. Also, 'huge landscapes' could be better expressed as 'vast landscapes'.
- 🟡 Spelling and word formation used correctly
There are minor errors such as 'factories machines and equipment' which should be 'factory machines and equipment'. Also, 'this modern live' should be 'this modern life'.
- 🟡 Formal language used
The phrase 'the others who think about having better work and enjoying prefer metropolitans' is too casual. A more formal expression would be 'those who prioritize better employment opportunities and enjoyment prefer metropolitan areas.'
Grammatical Range Accuracy Feedback - 5.5
Using IELTS grading criteria.

- 🟡 Variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences used
The essay primarily uses simple and compound sentences, but lacks a variety of complex sentences. For instance, 'cities with huge buildings, apartments, and organizations are popular among young adults' could be expanded into a complex sentence to enhance depth. Try incorporating more complex structures to showcase your grammatical range.
- 🟡 Sentence structures are used appropriately
The sentence structures are mostly appropriate, but there are instances of awkward phrasing. For example, 'the other advantage that people who prefer living sees in towns' should be 'the other advantage that people who prefer living see in towns.' This is a subject-verb agreement error. I suggest reviewing subject-verb agreement rules to improve clarity.
- 🟡 Used appropriate grammar tenses
There are some inconsistencies in tense usage. For example, 'many studies have shown' is correct, but then it shifts to 'citizens appreciate those noises' without a clear context. Ensure that the tenses align with the time frame you are discussing. Consistency is key!
- 🟡 Used punctuation accurately
Punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with commas. For example, 'as well as, a place to live near their job' should be 'as well as a place to live near their job.' Incorrect punctuation can confuse readers, so double-check your comma usage.
- 🟡 Major grammatical Errors are avoided
There are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as 'it is one of the need of this modern live that depend on being developed on this aspect.' This should be rephrased for clarity and grammatical accuracy. Consider revising sentences for better structure and coherence.
Detailed Feedback and Analysis
Point out major concerns:

Sentence: while some people think that living in big cities is more beneficial for them because of its good job-hunting opportunities and various facilities availability, others believe that small town advantages like less noise pollution and huge landscapes are more favorable to their taste.
Error Type: Coherence and Cohesion, Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: The sentence starts with a lowercase letter "while" and contains awkward phrasing ("various facilities availability").
Correction: Capitalize "While"; rephrase to "availability of various facilities."
Explanation: Starting a sentence with a lowercase letter disrupts the flow. Additionally, the phrase "various facilities availability" is awkward; it should be rephrased for clarity.

Sentence: many studies have shown the importance of connecting with nature, so many elderly citizens moved to towns to get away from the stressful life.
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: The word "many" is repeated unnecessarily at the beginning of both clauses.
Correction: Replace one instance of "many" with a synonym or restructure.
Explanation: Repetition can make writing sound redundant. Using synonyms or restructuring improves variety in language.

Sentence: it provides many options to apply for employment, as well as, a place to live near their job.
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: The subject of this sentence is unclear; it should refer back to cities instead of using "it."
Correction: Specify the subject clearly (e.g., "Cities provide...").
Explanation: Ambiguous subjects can confuse readers about what is being discussed. Clear references enhance understanding.

Sentence: however, citizens appreciate those noises that ensure that the progression and development are carried out by their authorities and it is one of the need of this modern live that depend on being developed on this aspect.
Error Type: Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource
Error: The phrase “one of the need” should be “one of the needs,” and “this modern live” should be “this modern life.”
Correction: Change “need” to “needs”; change “live” to “life.”
Explanation: Incorrect pluralization affects clarity. Additionally, using incorrect words diminishes lexical accuracy.

Sentence: While the others who think about having better work and enjoying prefer metropolitans and large cities.
Error Type: Task Response
Error: This sentence lacks parallel structure; it does not clearly connect back to previous ideas about preferences.
Correction: Clarify who "the others" refers to; ensure parallelism in structure.
Explanation: Maintaining parallel structure helps convey ideas more effectively. Ensure all parts relate clearly back to earlier points made in your essay.